Catching up

Time flying so fast...It's almost 4months since my beloved dad passed away..

Some flashback and review of what has happened so far...

Ramadhan (Aug/Sept)..I almost fasting for a whole month, but miss the last day..such an achievement *wink *wink

Syawal (Sept/Oct).. Wearing new baju kurung, cook ketupat rendang, baking cookies& cake, playing with the kids ...But there still emptiness and hole that can't filled by anyone or anything, face and word can lie but heart doesn't...It's so different feeling, almost everytime I just pretend to be strong, pretend like nothing had happened..pretend like my dad still alive, just he is outstation to somewhere and unable to be with us at that day...

Visit his (Y) house and mine on 2nd week of Syawal.. warm welcomes from both family, hope to have brighter beginning (have it actually started?)

Deepavali (Oct).. We're not celebrating deepavali, just coincidence that it fall on the same day.. 100th day already passed, held small kenduri at home..another two weeks later, 100th days of my aunt's husband, a week after that..100th days of my bro-in-law brother... People born, people dies..I just hope when I die, it will be in good condition and so easy and not bothering anyone..and hope I'm leaving a good memory to everyone I knew and I loved..

Having some escape to Cameron..a day trip with some not-so-adventurous friends..but better than nothing..

Still continue going back bi-weekly.. until things going 'low' and 'normal'.. It kind like I'm enjoying my empty(not so free) time when I'm driving, I can express my feeling without guilty..so that I can arrive home with fresh faces...another pretend and fake?